For the first time

It's a weird thing I'm about to write about - one I'm not sure many people can relate to (although many people in my circle probably can....). I realized the other night, that for the first time in about 7 years I am no longer actively building my family. I am not thinking about a child I do not have, I am not trying to find a way to bring home a child I do not have, I am not taking shots, filling out paperwork, or dreaming about a child I do not have. I can now spend all my time focusing on the children I do have. It's a strange realization - a strange truth to wrap my head around. I no longer have to think about building my family because we are built. So much of my life has revolved around my dreams of motherhood - so much of my daily efforts over the past 7 years has been to get me to this very point, and now......I am not sure how to handle it.

It's a strange sensation to have your dreams become reality. I'm so glad Jesse's adoption has been finalized because now I can go into 2008 fresh, done, complete. It's a new beginning for a new life I'm really looking forward to living.