Crazy feelings

Someone very close to me passed away this week. He was the father of one of my best friends, and I've known him for about 15 years. I have not had many run ins with mortality, and believe me, I'm fine with that, but this one was close. I had just visited him in the hospital a week ago, he was suppose to come home. Of course, this leads to thoughts of my own parents. I'm glad I live close to them, but it also makes me realize how old they are getting. I started thinking of how it could all be over so quickly; which led to thoughts of my future child. Could something happen before he arrives? I was sad for the prospect of my unknown child to never know his Bubbie or Zeyde (grandma or grandpa), I found myself getting emotional. I wasn't sure if it was the thought of losing my parents, the feelings of loss for my "unborn" child, or just the events of the past few days all rolled up. I'm sad for my friend and her family, more than you can imagine - they are family to me. I'm ashamed of turning my emotions around to my own situation. And I'm a little embarassed that I think I love a child that as of this moment is little more than a dream.