The end of an era

And I thought last year was bad.....

Tomorrow Ian will start 1st grade. I can't believe he's old enough to be a big kid, staying in school all day, hanging out on the playground, and eating hot lunch. I know people who have kids starting high school.....what the hell is that like? I don't even want to think about it. It's hard to imagine I will no longer be the one person who sees Ian for most of his day. Now his teacher will see him more than me - she will be his great influence..... :(

I will no longer have quiet afternoons, while Jesse is sleeping, listening to Ian play with his legos or reading books to him on the couch. We will no longer have those alone moments when I still look into his eyes and see my baby - and he sees me as the one to protect him. I knew the transition would hard on Jesse - he always wants to be by Ian's side. But I didn't realize how much this was going to effect me. Will parenting be as much fun? Am I going to lose my connection?

I can't believe how much I'm going to miss him. The house will seem so quiet with just me and Jesse. I hate losing control - not knowing what's going on or what's going to happen.

The thing is I know what's happening. My baby is growing into a boy who will one day turn into a man......