Defending our decision

I'm not sure I want to start this post - since it's rather late, but I've been deciding whether to write about this all day, so I think I just need to get it out. Yesturday, we visited with a close family friend from out of the country. I won't say too much because this really isn't about her, but she's from a place where adoption is slim to rare because the government helps young mothers out and people just aren't placing babies. It must be a hard concept to grasp when it's not very common, and I understand that, but for the first time I was really forced to defend our decision. Honestly - I'm not sure how I did. It seemed foreign to her that I wouldn't want to at least try and get pregnant again, even after explaining about the insurance issues (no coverage), the not really stable issues (the way my body reacted to treatments the first time around), and the horrible pregnancy issues. I decided not to go into the medical issues I have now because by that point I'm afraid I was becoming a little defensive.

Is it a problem that I was not able to come up with some brilliant rhetoric about why adoption was right for us? Some answer that made everything clear in her head and made the lightbulb burn brightly for all the world to see? Why couldn't I? Was there something wrong with the reasons I did give? Are they not good enough reasons?

It was my first taste at what it will probably be like from the moment that Asian baby becomes ours. All the people in our future who we'll see at the mall or the movies or at school functions....all the questions that are yet to be asked. What if I can't answer those either?

I know adoption is the right choice for us, I feel it with ever fiber of my being and have dreamed about it for as long as I can remember. It must be right. But how do I explain that? Should I have to?

I wonder about all the infertal people in our friend's country - how painful it must be for them. I wonder if they have support networks and international adoption like we do. What are their choices?