Harder than I thought

I'm a ball of anxious energy - and I don't know what to do about it. I never thought it would be this hard to just wait. I'm thinking about how fast mail travel between Chicago and Seattle, wondering is some crazy mailcarrier has stashed all the mail in his basement waiting to have a huge bonfire. Thinking about how I thought this would be easy and I'd just pass the time with whatever it is I do to pass my time.

I'm feeling a little selfish as well. I read an article that was linked from the agency's website about a family moved to adopt from India after the tsunami disaster. They mentioned that the agency has had enormous amounts of interest in its Thailand and India programs since the beginning of the year (nearly triple from last year). What if these people get in and get my baby? We decided on Thailand nearly 6 months ago and now everything might change (including the wait time we had our minds around and prepared for). I know it's crazy, because any baby getting adopted is a good thing, but at the same time our agency doesn't even deal with the region affected by the disaster.

I know it'll take whatever amount of time it takes, and whatever baby we are handed is the one we are meant to raise and love, but I can't help it I'm selfish and I'll admit it.

Hopefully we'll hear something from the agency soon (my nerves can't take it if we don't)