Update from agency
Well - all my waiting has finally come to and end. Yesterday we received an update from our agency, although not the one we were hoping for. We received some good news and some bad news. The bad news: our referral was not brought home and it's not expected to arrive for another 6 weeks. I'm glad I waited 24 hours before writing this because yesterday this seemed like the worst news ever. I was in tears and really torn up about it, and I am still having some emotional uneasiness but I think that's because whatever I was living on to get me through this past week evaporated from my body yesterday - leaving me exhausted and raw.
Anyway - good news: We found out our sons birthday!!!!! We was born on Feb. 24, 2006! Yup 2006 - he's just nine months old!!! It's crazy and not what I expected but I'm really happy. We found out he was born at the TRC medical center and his birthmother was just 17 years old. But it fills my heart knowing that his story does not begin with him being abandoned somewhere and having people guess at his birthday. He will know forever that his birthmother loved him and did the best thing for him. We found out he's already crawling and likes to chew on his toys. And Andrea says he's "very, very cute".
Which brings me to the pictures: we aren't allowed to see them until the paperwork comes through. The agency thinks it's best to send everything together since we still have not officially accepted him. I know his medical history could reveal something bad or not perfect - but I really don't think I could turn him away. He was chosen for us - meant for us, and I love him already.
I'm so excited about all the news and have gotten over the disappointment of not getting the referral - but a new weird emotion has taken over. A more cautious, questioning emotion. I thought the knowledge of his birthday and some history would make things more real get me in the mindset of things happening, but with the news of no referral came a feeling of unrest. Like I'm in the endless tunnel and every time I think I see the end I realize it's just more tunnel. I know we are approaching the final stages and I know there is an end - I just wish I can more control.
Anyway - good news: We found out our sons birthday!!!!! We was born on Feb. 24, 2006! Yup 2006 - he's just nine months old!!! It's crazy and not what I expected but I'm really happy. We found out he was born at the TRC medical center and his birthmother was just 17 years old. But it fills my heart knowing that his story does not begin with him being abandoned somewhere and having people guess at his birthday. He will know forever that his birthmother loved him and did the best thing for him. We found out he's already crawling and likes to chew on his toys. And Andrea says he's "very, very cute".
Which brings me to the pictures: we aren't allowed to see them until the paperwork comes through. The agency thinks it's best to send everything together since we still have not officially accepted him. I know his medical history could reveal something bad or not perfect - but I really don't think I could turn him away. He was chosen for us - meant for us, and I love him already.
I'm so excited about all the news and have gotten over the disappointment of not getting the referral - but a new weird emotion has taken over. A more cautious, questioning emotion. I thought the knowledge of his birthday and some history would make things more real get me in the mindset of things happening, but with the news of no referral came a feeling of unrest. Like I'm in the endless tunnel and every time I think I see the end I realize it's just more tunnel. I know we are approaching the final stages and I know there is an end - I just wish I can more control.
posted by Hannah | 10:28 AM
1 Comments:
Oh Hannah, I can totally relate to the "tunnel" theory. Hang in there! Things are moving along and even though it seems forever away, it will be no time before you are looking at your precious new son's little face and thinking to yourself, "I can't believe this day is finally here." Thank you for including me in this awesome journey. ~Zara
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