nesting?

I've been in the mood latley to organize and purge. I think it's the safest way I can think of to start preparing for Jesse's arrival. I mean, it's not buying anything, it's not baby stuff, it's not focused on him - therefore I will have no associated fears from my preparation. We are organizing and cleaning a few areas of the house but it has not turned out to be as productive as I had hoped. 1)We are far messier than it appears on the surface (which is pretty messy, apparently our mess has multiple levels) 2) I'm a very bad cleaner. I can go pretty strong for awhile but once I find a break in my rhythm or something to distract me I'm off track - therefore loosing precious time.

One thing I've been dealing with lately it my feelings of being overwhelmed. Somedays Ian is just a hand full (which I'm not honestly used to because he's a really good kid) and his 4 year old self is coming out. I have to realize he's not my little baby anymore and sometimes he has bad days and grumpy days and such as well. There have been times I've looked around our not-so-big-messy house and thought - am I crazy! Not only can I barely handle one kid, I can't take care of a household, AND I'm bringing a new baby home!?!?!?! What was I thinking! But I've discovered this weekend, since Ian is away with my parents, that I can't live without my kid and I know I'll love and cherish Jesse just as much. Being a mother of two is going to be challenging but I know now that I have enough love and desire to be great at it.