The Adoption Option

My spot for thoughts, feelings, rambles, and updates as we journey through the adoption process. Highlights: Dossier arrived in Thailand ~ Sept 26, 2005; Approved ~ October, 2005; Matched ~ August, 2006; Referral received ~ January 2007; Traveled & Home ~ June, 2007; Finalized!! ~ December, 2007

Thursday, August 25, 2005


We have reached the end of our dossier journey. We received word that our papers arrived safe and sound to the WACAP office and everything looks to be in perfect order! Now, they are being shipped to Washington State for authorization (which should take a few days) and then by the end of next week will be shipped off to Washington DC for authorization (that should take 1-2 weeks). to THAILAND!!!!!!!! In less than a month our papers will be flying across the ocean and into the hands of the Thai Red Cross. I've been doing a lot of thinking about the timeline of events and the age of the child and all that stuff - and perhaps I'm just getting really excited about the forward movement we are making, but I'm starting think we have a really good chance of not having as long a wait as predicted. Let me explain......

As explained to us, there is a really long wait in the "infant" program (the one we are in) because of a few factors 1)not a large number of children to pull from, 2)girls take longer and many families request girls, and 3)many families request "as young as possible" (meaning as close to 12 months old as possible). Well, see here's the thing - we have not requested a girl or "young" - and that increases our odds of a shorter wait. But - if I analyze this even more (probably over anyalyze and theorize and I still might be completely wrong) it seems like we are will to accept a child that others won't or can't. See, if you are an older couple you are not eligible for "infants" (which means 2 and under) - so I'm thinking there might be a handful of kids that are too old for the "young" requests and too young for the older couples! That's where we come in! We have no problem bringing home a 2 year old - we kinda expected it. The only think we have to wait for is Ian's 3rd birthday (because Thailand requires an 11 month age difference between siblings) and then all the 2 years olds would be available to us. As of next month, he's 2.5 years old and then we are eligiable for any 18 month olds! PERFECT! It seems so confusing in my ramblings, but I really think this is going to work towards our advantage and we will not have to wait nearly as long as we think/thought we would.

I'm just really excited about all this and feel a renewed rush of energy towards the entire process at the moment. Once we know for sure our Dossier has been pre-approved (which will take 2-4 months after they receive it) we will start our education process - learning some Thai, taking some cooking classes, and exploring more of the cultural areas in Chicagoland. It really feels like we are on the road to somewhere!

Friday, August 19, 2005


Tomorrow is the day of all days - the day we will be free of control and just be sitting around and waiting. We have EVERY single piece of paper we need and our dossier is complete!!!!!!! Jumping up and down for joy and all that jazz. It's an amazing feeling and at the same time a little disheartening. It means that everything we had power over is now gone. And the waiting begins. First we have to wait for our papers to be shipped to Thailand (usually about 2-3 weeks after WACAP receives them because of some business that needs to take place with the state), then we wait for them to arrive (not sure we actually get notified of this), then probably the hardest wait is a 2-4 months wait for a pre-approval from the Thai Red Cross. This is when they look over our paperwork and agree that we are worthy of adopting a child from Thailand and they accept us into the pool of applicants to wait for a child. This will be hardest because, although we meet all the requirements there is still a part of me that's thinking "what is they say no"?!?!?!?! I'm not sure that ever happens once you reach that point (having gone through the homestudy, the agency application process, and the collection of the dossier) - it could all just be a formality, but it's still scarey. After we receive that news we are in the longest stretch of waiting - could be 12 months - waiting to get matched (a refferal) with our child. Weird thoughts huh? Turns out our baby could already be born - and if not is close to being so. It's strange to think our second child although still over a year away could be the same age as our new niece, Faren.

I've discovered the best thing about my job - getting to meet families who have grown through adoption. About a month ago, I met a woman who brought her two sons in to play. They were just adopted from Russian only 2 months prior and were still learning English, but boy oh boy did they know who Mom was. It was great to see. And I was able to ask a lot of questions about institutionalization and bonding. She was super nice and really open to discussion. And just today a woman came in with a her daughter from China. Turns out she used the same agency to adopt as we are using for our homestudy. Again, she was so nice and helpful and encouraging about everything we are about to go through. It gives me a great feeling - just knowing that this is really the path we are suppose to be on.