The Adoption Option

My spot for thoughts, feelings, rambles, and updates as we journey through the adoption process. Highlights: Dossier arrived in Thailand ~ Sept 26, 2005; Approved ~ October, 2005; Matched ~ August, 2006; Referral received ~ January 2007; Traveled & Home ~ June, 2007; Finalized!! ~ December, 2007

Thursday, June 26, 2008


I thought I should leave an update about Jesse and school. Last week was better - he only cried for about 5 minutes. I'll see how tomorrow goes - he keeps telling me he won't cry, but he said that last week as well.

There are a few things that I think are aiding in the process. 1)Jesse is cute (if I do say so myself) and snuggly, therefore making him more apt to be tolerated by the teachers. As a preschool teacher, it's harder to comfort kids that push away from you, making them not very endearing. Jesse will not turn away a snuggle. 2)I'm an active parent, I want to know how class went, what they did, how he did. A lot of parents just drop off and pick up, making it hard for teachers to connect. Therefore, I think he's getting some extra attention from the teachers - making his transitions a little smoother. Trust me, I'm not complaining. :)

Otherwise, we've had play dates and lots of time with friends. I can't believe it's nearly July and then it's just a few more months until Ian starts kindergarten!!!!! Incredible.

Friday, June 13, 2008

What was I thinking?!?!?!?

Today I feel like a big old jackass! Like I committed a crime against my child by opening by stupid mouth and .......allow me to explain (if I can).

This morning was Jesse's first day of "school". He's signed up for a 2-3 year old class (without parent) at the Y. He's been so excited about school and he loved going into the classroom when we dropped Ian off during the year, so I didn't think we'd have a huge issue. He also knows a few of the other kids enrolled in the class. So, he packs up his snack bag and proudly carries around the house, into the car, and into the Y. So far so good....then we get down to his classroom and we all pile in. I notice he's clinging to Ian and then.....the fingers go in his mouth, and I knew we were in trouble. I coaxed him into the classroom and pulled Ian away - there goes Jesse's bottom lip. I give him a kiss - there goes the crocodile tears. I tell him to have a good class - there goes the cries for mommy. Now being a pre-school teacher at the Y, I know what works best - the parents just need to leave. I felt horrible and kept thinking during the whole 1.75 hours why his he acting this way. He's always fine when we drop Ian off or if he gets dropped off with Ian - it's only when he's left alone altogether that he has issues. But so do a lot of other 2 year why did I even mention adoption?!?!?!?

I'm so angry at myself - I've been reading a lot of blogs lately of my friends who have been going through some adjustment/attachment/grieving issues. I guess it was fresh on my mind that Jesse has never had an "adoption issues" that have really manifested in any significant ways. He was quick to bond, and adjust, he had a very short grieving period but it never effected his daily activities - just in the quiet moments of the day. So again, why would I think this was related....

When I went to pick Jesse up from class, I mentioned to the teacher (a younger girl not used to working with 2 year olds) that I wasn't sure if his separation issues were due to age or adoption. She was baffled and looked at him like he was from another planet. I immediately regretted by decision to bring it up. For some reason, there is never any assumption that Jesse is not biologically mine. It surprises me every time someone else is surprised, but it happens more often than not. So, why now should I point out something that makes him different, it's not like this recent college grad teacher knows how to handle adoption issues as opposed to regular issues. I've never defined Jesse by his adoption status - I never plan why did I today? the way she looked at him, like being adopted was a contagious disease....I wanted to sweep him up in my arms and run away.

I know she's young, I know she's probably never been exposed to adoption before - I don't blame her....but what was I thinking?!?!?!?

Sunday, June 08, 2008

Fun photos and other stuff

It's been a fantastic week. Now that Summer has arrived we have a very loose schedule for awhile and have been enjoying having Bubbie off work and not having time restraints. We've also been doing a lot of reminiscing about this time last year - it's not hard for a few reasons. 1)Just looking at Jesse reminds of us our wonderful journey to bring him home and 2)there are two couple we know through bloggerland currently living their dream in Thailand. Robin and Kyle are currently there and have met their precious son - I've been glued to their blog for updates....kinda stalker-ish, but I can't stand the thought of missing a moment. Courtney and Jim are in transit and will be there soon - another blog to read daily :)

These whole two weeks will be filled with wonderful anniversaries - today is the day we took custody of Jesse, and we've never looked back :) I'm so happy for my friends who will now experience this joy.

So I'm going to post pictures to update on some of the fun we've been having recently. Some are older than others - but still cute :)

It's my pleasure to introduce the future of Chicago Baseball.
The fabulous Listopad brothers!
(Ian playing catcher and Jesse at shortstop)

Here they are strolling across campus with their backpacks.
Packed full of the essentials (stuffed animals and Hot Wheels cars).

Here's Ian - the cutest grad in the preschool class of 2008!
They put on a "play" and Ian was the Dragon Slayer (his own choice).

Some recent brotherly love being displayed!
Gotta love this :)