Always someone to tell

I love the fact that whenever I turn around there is someone else to share our good news with. It remains fresh and happy instead of turning into the stale waiting period until the referral arrives. I sent several questions to the agency regarding the future and what happens now. I've allowed myself to start planning ahead and thinking about presents and toys for my son as well as donations to the TRC. The agency told me they like developmental toys that are not language based and I'm already starting to brainstorm and might even allow myself to start making some purchases. There are a few small things I picked up when the process began - it made me happy to buy little things for my future son, but I have yet to make a purchase since knowing he's really out there. I want it to be perfect - even though he'll never fully understand or even remember and it will be given to him among several things, at least I'll always know. I don't think I ever put this much thought or effort into buying things for Ian. I was so scared with him up until the very end when he was delivered - I never allowed myself to get this excited. I didn't feel the butterflies the same way I am now.

I'm excited September is here and we can start a new month - another day closer to the next step and any additional information that might come our way. I can't wait to see his face or more so, give him a hug.

Back on track

Okay - the bad side has passed and I'm back on board this mother of two deal. I've been pretty giddy lately everytime I think about it. Although, I think I need to start working out more because both of Ian's teachers have asked me (within a week of each other) if I'm having a baby. I found it hard to be offended (one, because neither one of them looked at my stomach when asking) once they explained how Ian's been talking about his little brother so much they just had to know what was going on. It was really cute - once I got over the initial shock of the question. But both reactions to the news of adoption were just as gleeful as if I'd proudly rubbed my belly and said yes. It was a nice warm fuzzy feeling inside that some people just don't care where the baby comes from, like us, and are happy for us just the same.

My mom has been the cutest so far - she won't stop talking about how she needs a second car seat and a new umbrella stroller and about to explode if she can't tell her co-workers soon (school hasn't started yet). It's really cool to know when we step off the plane - no wait - from the moment we receive the referral picture she will love him, just like we do - no matter what.

Sam and I have had two solid names to choose from. We were torn because in the Jewish faith is customary to name a child after someone who has passed away. Thankfully we don't have any options - since my Bubbie died in 2002, no other close family members have died (let's keep it that way, please). I was sad we didn't have something to pass onto our son. But now we are even more confused because we discovered another name we both really like. I'm going to put these out there (because we haven't been keeping them a secret) but it's not up for debate. Feel free to post your opinions but remember we will decide no matter what anyone says. So here they are: Jesse, Ari, and now...Ezra. None typical, but what did you expect. It's so nice talking about these things - I'm really loving this.

mother of two?

Things have been really crazy since we heard our amazing news. The whirlwind of phone calls to family and friends, emails, co-worker announcements, and wrapping my own head around it.

If you'd have asked me a few months ago what this news would do to me I would have answered - make me even crazier. But I've actually become more calm, more focused on my cross-stitch project, and more aware of my motherhood status. I'll be driving down the street and suddenly the thought will pop in my head "soon I'll have two car seats and two babbling kids in the backseat" or I'll be reaching my boiling point in a store as Ian is misbehaving beyond my wildest dreams and think "Oh my goodness - I'll have two soon! What have I done." But sometimes I just smile randomly thinking about the songs I'll sing to him or imagining Ian taking his hand and leading him into an adventure. I really am hoping to receive the referral sooner than later, but for now I think this part of the wait will be the most calm. I know there is progress and he's there waiting for us, but I also know there is nothing I can do to make things faster. It might be different once I know his face and his name and I'll start tryingto cast spells to move time, but for now this is a pretty happy part of the process. I need to remember this feeling.

Thanks for all those well wishes that came to us and for all of you reading who keep us in your thoughts. We really appreciate it.

August

I don't think I've written about August - not like an update for the month but of all the things that seem to connect with August. It all started while on vacation in early June. I was shopping at this little bead store and found a pre-made bracelet. It was super pretty and I took a closer look I saw my birthstone, Ian's birthstone, and Sam's birthstone - but there was one more, Peridot, the birthstone for August. I passed on the bracelet but kept thinking about it. When we returned home I found out one of my friends has found the elusive Asian boy Cabbage Patch Kid and purchased him for us. Upon his delivery I discovered his name was August. Then we found out from WACAP that they came home from their Thailand visit with no specific update for us, but would check back in August. I started noticing a lot of combinations of the four colors I saw in the bracelet and just got hooked that there was something the universe was trying to tell me about August.

But I tried not to get too excited. I knew we would not receive our referral - too early. I thought, maybe our son was born in August and will soon celebrate his 1st birthday. Maybe we'll receive a great update that will align the planets in my August obsession....well......WE RECEIVED AN UPDATE!!!!!! I picked up the phone today to hear Andrea, the program director from WACAP. I did't think anything of it - thinking she was being proactive with her nuerotic client. Keeping one step ahead of my nagging inquires - but NO she had a real update for us.

Ready?

Okay - WE'VE BEEN MATCHED!!!!!!!!!! We have a son out there at the Thai Red Cross at this very moment that's just for us. So, I know you have a lot of questions - but here's the basics. We know nothing. It's a boy - literally that's it. Now, he will proceed with medical exams and tests and the orphanage will get all the paperwork ready for our official referral. We'll get pictures, medical history, social history - his entire file. Andrea thinks this will arrive around October. If all goes as planned with the rest of the process we really think we'll be traveling around the New Year - but i don't want to get my hopes up too much. So I'm remaining on the happy news!!!!!! This is the first step into the final phase of the journey leading to our son!